Thursday, December 2, 2010

IR Dot Net Refuegee Crisis

The IRIDF Will Not Ignore the Ir dot Net Refugee Crisis

The trickle of refugees fleeing from the persecution of the ir dot net shinnerism apparatus hath become a tidal wave. And the invincible ASUs of the Irish Republican Internet Defence Forces hath become ready.

Hitting out at the extreme cruelty of the shinner dictatorship, IRIDF SUPREME INNER COUNCIL spokesperson Cyrill "Spuds" Connolly O'Neil was quoted by the world media, saying: "Do these capitalist octopuses truly believe they can endure another Korean Korn Snake Conquest? It is a scientific fact that the goodness of the IRIDF repels evil. That includes the evil that is lower than a snake's belly."

He continued, saying: "They will not withstand us. God loveth those who are just. (Quran 60:8) If they desire in their black hearts to save their necks from our invisible agus invincible legions, we say to them: open your doors to an IRIDF negotiating team. They will come in and restructure your administration so that is sustainable, and the refugee crisis might end. Until you do so you will give the IRIDF a reason to carry out their liberation campaign."

He concluded by saying that all IRIDF operators and glorious Volunteers should be on stand-by until further notice.

J Connolly
IRIDF Media Dept
Douglasgrad, I of M

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

IRIDF Corporate Tax Rate Policy

A spokesman for the Irish Republican Internet Defence Forces wished to make the position of the IRIDF's Inner Council regarding Ireland's corporate tax rate known publicly.

Commandante Jorge Miguel said: "We would like to commend the 32 County Sovreignty Movement on their fine statement condemning the vile trade unions and we concur. Ireland's corporate tax rate is outrageous. British and American companies need their well-earned pay far more than the lazy Irish people."

Continuing, he said, "The Irish people are sheeple who lack the Triumph of Will. We second the 32csm's call for the workers movement to be silenced. Much like pizza delivery boys, they are slippery bastards, disgusting traitors who lack sufficient love of the Fatherland."

Miguel concluded with a warning: "The cause of Ireland is the cause of safe investments for British firms in Ireland. The enemies of these firms investing safely are the enemies of Ireland, and so are the enemies of the Isle of Mann, which also makes them enemies of the IRIDF. Silence, you ungrateful workers, know your place, and think of your poor bosses!"

"It's about time a republican organisation promoted neo-liberalism, the legacy of US President Bush. Some deluded sell-out socialist free stater traitor amadáns foolishly believe that national liberation has something to do with social justice and improving living standards, or meaningful control over a nation's destiny. Nothing could be further from the truth. National liberation means shooting imperialists once every fifteen years or so."

J Connolly
Supreme Inner Council
Irish Republican Internet Defence Forces
Douglas City, IoM

Cael: The Silver Fox

The IRIDF are treated as suspects because we have spoken ... nothing but the truth. We have revealed the glorious word of Cael Al-Karim (Peace Be Upon Him) to be all powerful because it is true.

When the Limerick splitters speak, they lie. When they promise, they break it. When any trust is kept with them they misuse it. They would do well to not be in doubt about the thing that is coming. All this happens because Cael alone is the ultimate truth, he alone speaks truth and because he has the power to will anything and because that Hour is coming, he alone shall lead the IRIDF revolution against the Limerick Peoples' Front of Judea.

For those who deride Cael with suggestions that he will not be visiting Limerick in the early hours of December 25th, we call on them to desist. There is no reindeer strike on the Federal Republic. Least that they shall feel the wrath of the fiery hell the IRIDF has prepared for Joodeans. It is necessary to expose the false propaganda of the yids and thoroughly dispel the illusion that Seabird will give up their positions in the administration of and free the IRIDF 7 with good will.

It would be a sin for IRIDF Volunteers not to try to possess the weapons that would prevent the infliction of harm on Manxmen. For this reason, we hereby proclaim Glorious Douglas, the first anti-revisionist federal city-state in the great tradition of Athlone.

No faction is better or worse than any other. All come from the same mould; they are all products of Seabirdist influence. And they are a poison that destroys the IRIDF and the revolutionary movement in the Isle of Man. We oppose the reactionary policies of the Judeans but we do not oppose the people of Limerick although we recognise they are filth. We have many good friends in Limerick.

We can but say Eire Nua is our bayonet, Cael our leader, the Embassy our barracks and the trolls our soldiers. We will only tell the Judeans this once. And maybe once after that.

G Michael
Supreme Inner Councl
Irish Republican Internet Defence Forces
Douglas City, IoM

Friday, August 20, 2010

IRIDF Ramadan Statement

The Seabirdites say, 'never to us will come the hour'. Say 'nay' but most surely, by the IRIDF, it will come upon you. By the IRIDF who knows the unseen. Verily the IRIDF has cursed the revisionists and prepared for them a blazing fire.

The IRIDF are those who brought you forth from the wombs of your mothers when you knew nothing and they gave you hearing and sight and intelligence and affections that you may give thanks. It is the IRIDF who sustains the internets, lest they cease to function and if they should fall, there is none can sustain them thereafter: verity the IRIDF is the most forbearing and forgiving. No vision can grasp the IRIDF but our grasp is over all vision, above all comprehension yet is acqauinted with all things. People know us.

Consider the work of the IRIDF; for who can make straight what we have made crooked? In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: surely we have appointed the one as well as the other, so that the Seabirdites can find out nothing that will come after us.

Because the sentence against Seabird’s evil work has not been been executed speedily, therefore her heart of stone is fully set to do evil. Remember the IRIDF before’s silver cord is loosed, or its golden bowl broken. Or its pitcher shattered at the fountain, or its wheel broken at the well. Then it will return to the posters as it was, and all power will return to the IRIDF who gave it.

G Michael
Supreme Inner Council
Irish Republican Internet Defence Forces
Douglas City, IoM


Proclamation of the IRIDF

Whereas the IRIDF are the internationally recognised government-in-exile of the Isle of Mann, Ireland and Snowdownia;

Whereas teh ir dot netzi admins of teh are capitalist octopuses;

Whereas the Deckiegate Scandal hath cast a long shadow;

Whereas the SUPREME INNER COUNCIL of the Glorious IRIDF have patiently exhausted every avenue and approach of reconciliation with teh Seabirdites;

Let this proclamation be heard across teh interwebs!
The following demands must be met in full to prevent a breakdown in the historic ir dot nyet peace process:

1. A new subforum exclusively devoted to the achievements and triumphs of Papa Stalin.

2. The full implementation of Éire Nua in Ireland and the Ise of Mann.

2a. The establishent of Athlone as the national capital.

2b. The song 'O Glorious Athlone' be made the national anthem.

3. Seán Russel 88 for admin.

4. New subforum be established for the study of Manx agriculture.

5. An entire section of the forum be devoted to the scientific study of Cael Thought.

6. That all relevant documents and information regarding the shameful Deckiegate Scandal be passed onto the IRIDF.

If these demands are not met in full and good faith, then the Invincible Legions of the IRIDF shall make mine internet arrows drunk with blood.

J Connolly
IRIDF Supreme Inner Council
Douglas City, IoM

Monday, May 17, 2010

The War Will Continue Until Lulz Are Achieved

The operations of the IRIDF over the previous year have shown us to be capax infiniti. On our first anniversary we would like to particularly pay tribute the POWs, for it was by the very sacrifice of the 7 that the IRIDF was born. Our inception, amidst a baptism of fire from the Seabird regime, was heralded by a double rainbow somewhere over the Korean sea and while our POWs cotinue to languish on banlists, our resistance has severely enturbulated the administration and their paid hirelings.

One year ago, we issued reasonable and moderate demands to the junta currently in power on which included viz.

1. Freedom for the 7
2. Fresh moderator elections
3. Recognition of the IRIDF through it's own subforum on
4. SeanRussel88 for admin
5. The full implementation of Eire Nua in Ireland and the Isle of Man

Our demands remain constant and should they remain unfulfilled we shall strike down upon thee with great vengeance, for the Lord is our Shepard.

Those brave Volunteers who fought to their banishments with smiles of supreme happiness on their lips embracing the call of duty did well in being banned; they were not born to resign themselves to the hypocritical, wretched life of that forum and they were banned, finally, rather than adapting to a disgraceful and repugnant reality.

These considerations bring to the POW's the manly thoughts that stir their restless minds, that angry uprising against such a repugnantly selfish mediocrity, that desire to set an example by doing something great for Ireland. Each day that passes justifies the reason for their sacrifice.

People know us. We come back.

In homage to the eternal leader of the IRIDF revolution, George Michael, we can only say but one thing - Sailing the Seas Depends on the Helmsman.

Also, the game.

Haile Selassie,
Ho Chi Minh Brigade Sub-Commander, IRIDF Headquarters, Douglas, Federal Republic of the Isle of Mann.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The IRIDF Shall Never Decommission the Lulz

The Inner Council of the IRIDF has issued the following statement:

As negotiations with the Chuckies have broken down, the IRIDF has no choice but to put all ASUs on alert and prepare for mobilization. It is sad that the historic opportunity for a prisoner swap and other conditions that could lead to a just and lasting peace was dropped like a hot potato by the Shinner apparatus. They should thank their Golden Calf that the IRIDF Inner Council have not yet chosen to authorize the deployment of Korean Corn Snakes.

Our Staff Officers and Intelligence Dept have determined that the
IRIDF will not decommission its arsenal of lulz until all IRIDF POWs
are free. Unconditional surrender is an impossible demand that shall
be met by the most fierce and determined resistance the interwebs has ever seen.

The IRIDF Inner Council swore to Daddy Cael that they would not cease their glorious struggle until Eire Nua and Anti-Revisionism spread from Glorious Douglas City to all of Ireland, Scotland and Wales. And the IRIDF have kept to that struggle faithfully. Will Ogra decide to join this process of moving the process forward, or will they instead snuggle up together inside the dustbin of history with the other False Prophets?


Is Muidne,
Inner Council
Oglaigh Na Idirghréasán (IRIDF)